The Symptoms of Postpartum Depression & Anxiety (In Plain Mama English)

If you're wondering how I feel and have felt read below this prety much sums it up.
http://postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english-1

You feel overwhelmed. Not like “hey, this new mom thing is hard.” More like “I can’t do this and I’m never going to beable to do this.” You feel like you just can’t handle being a mother. In fact, you maybe wondering whether you should have become a mother in the first place.

You feel guilty because you believe you should be handling new motherhood better than this. You feel like your baby deserves better. You worry whether your baby can tell that you feel so bad, or that you are crying so much, or that you don’t feel the happiness or connection that you thought you would. You may wonder whether your baby would be better off without you.

You don’t feel bonded to your baby. You’re not having that mythical mommy bliss that you see on TV or read about in magazines.

You can’t understand why this is happening. You are very confused and scared.

You feel irritated or angry. You have no patience. Everything annoys you. You feel resentment toward your baby, or your partner, or your friends who don’t have babies. You feel out-of-control rage.

You feel nothing. Emptiness. You are just going through the motions.

You feel sadness to the depths of your soul. You can’t stop crying, even when there’s no real reason to be crying.

You feel hopeless, like this situation will never ever get better. You feel weak anddefective. You feel like a failure.

You can’t bring yourself to eat, or perhaps the only thing that makes you feel better is eating.

You can’t sleep when the baby sleeps, nor can you sleep at any other time. Or maybe you can fall asleep, but you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep no matter how tired you are. Or maybe all you can do is sleep and you can’t seem to stay awake to get the most basic things done. Whichever it is, your sleeping is completely screwed up, and it’s not just because you have a newborn.

You can’t concentrate. You can’t focus. You can’t think of the words you want to say. You can’t remember what you were supposed to do. You can’t make a decision. You feel like you’re in a fog.

You feel disconnected. You feel strangely apart from everyone for some reason, like there’s an invisible wall between you and the rest of the world.

Maybe you’re doing everything right. You are exercising. You are taking your vitamins. You have a healthy spirituality. You do yoga.You’re thinking “Why can’t I just get over this?” You feel like you should be able to snap out of it, but you can’t.

You might be having thoughts of running away and leaving your family behind. Or you’ve thought of driving off the road, or taking too many pills, or finding some other way to end this misery. Or you may have thoughts of harming others.

You know something is wrong. You may not know you have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, but you know the way you are feeling is NOT right. You think you’ve “gone crazy”.

Youare afraid thatthis isyour new reality and that you’ve lost the “old you” forever.

You are afraid that if you reach out for help people will judge you. Or that your baby will be taken away.

You may have postpartum anxiety or postpartum OCD if you have had a baby within the last 12 months andare experiencing some of these symptoms:

• Your thoughts are racing. You can’t quiet your mind. You can’t settle down. You can’t relax.
• You feel like you have to be doing something at all times. Cleaning bottles. Cleaning baby clothes. Cleaning the house. Doing work. Entertaining the baby. Checking on the baby.
• You are worried. Really worried. All. The. Time. Am I doing this right? Will my husband come home from his trip? Will the baby wake up? Is the baby eating enough? Is there something wrong with the baby that I’m missing? No matter what anyone says to reassure you it doesn’t help.
• You may be having disturbing thoughts. Thoughts that you’ve never had before. Thoughts that make you wonder whether you aren’t the person you thought you were. They fly into your head unwanted and you know they aren’t right, that this isn’t the real you, but they terrify you and they won’t go away. These thoughts may start with the words “What if …”
• You are afraid to be alone with your baby because of the thoughts. You are also afraid of things in your house that could potentially cause harm, like kitchen knives or stairs, and you avoid them like the plague.
• You have to check things constantly. Did I lock the door? Did I lock the car? Did I turn off the oven? Is the baby breathing?
• You may be having physical symptoms like stomach cramps or headaches, shakiness or nausea. You might even have panic attacks.
• You feel like a captive animal, pacing back and forth in a cage. Restless. On edge.
• You can’t eat. You have no appetite.
• You can’t sleep. You are so, so tired, but you can’t sleep.
• You feel a sense of dread all the time, like something terrible is going to happen.
• You know something is wrong. You may not know you have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, but you know the way you are feeling is NOT right. You think you’ve “gone crazy”.
• Youare afraid thatthis isyour new reality and that you’ve lost the “old you” forever.
• You are afraid that if you reach out for help people will judge you. Or that your baby will be taken away.